God is too big

her_answers Friends Only

Well, it took me awhile to figure out how the hell to do it, but I've made is so that all of the entries posted after this one will automatically be Friends Only. In the following days I'll try to get around to make a banner, but I have three midterms next week, so it might be awhile.

FYI, if there is a post you would like to make public, you can still do that, but you must edit the entry after it's posted, and change the security then.

If you have questions or comments, post them here!

For those of you who are watching, but not currently members: Please do not forget to join the community. There are a few of you, if you'd like me to mention your names, just ask. From now on, only members can see the posts on her_answers in their entirety.


no reffering to the crappy John Mayer song.

so, my relationship with my dad is ridiculous.

a little backround: My father is a brilliant man. He's got several degrees in mathematical engineering. It's his passion- I have yet to understand how anyone can feel passionate about mathematical engineering...but there you have it. He loves thinking about how things work. He's STILL employed with Lucent Tech, a little example of his devoted, respectable self. 
And he is. He's patient, rational, cheerful....and completely non-confrontational. Seriously. He doesn't like fighting. Hates it. I had no idea until I was 16...but my dad avoids emotional confrontation as much as humanly possible. He divorced my mother (almost entirely her fault...my mom's a narcissist), remarried someone entirely unlikely, and he's finally happy. And I love him.
And he loves me. But he's so freaking scared of me. I take him to lunch, often as I can, and I visit. He's there for me, of course, whenever I need him (last night, to his utter suprised I showed up on his doorstep at 9:30, sobbing...I was having career change issues...), and while he was willing to help, comforting, and welcoming, he had no idea what to say.

I can't bear the thought of drifting away from him because I'm not a simple little girl anymore- I'm a complicated, married 20 year old chasing a career in the arts. 
What do I do to bring us closer? I have a feeling I'll keep needing my dad around.
  • Current Music
    "Call and Answer" - Barenakedladies...love this song!
It is me!


Name we can call you by: courtney

Occupation: student

What you do when you're slacking off: i used to sleep when i'm not at work, but now i have a puppy to play with

Significant other?: not anymore

Sexual Preference?: bisexual

Political affiliation--or the party that the least objectionable candidate normally sides with: um, no. i don't like politics

So...why are you here? to help those that need advice and get it myself when i need it the most

Best Compliment ever: i love your pink hair! i love it too!!

Age/Emotional age: i am 19 and act much older, not that old, somewhere in my eariler twenties. at least a friend told me this. when i am near a breakdown i usually act around 16.

Please tell us whatever you want to help us get to know you better! i'm shy. really shy. it took me a bit just to write this up! i love talking to people, it just takes me time, you know?

Post a picture of yourself! (We're big into pictures here):i wish i had a picture, but there is no digital camera or webcam within my house. sorry!!

(no subject)

OK, I joined this community a while back and have just realised that I never actually did this whole introduction thing and thought that I probally should... so, here goes!

Name we can call you by: Lucy

Occupation: Student, 1st Year Bsc Environmental Science.

What you do when you're slacking off: Go on MSN, generally do a whole load of nothing. I am a first year student so am rather lazy! hehe.

Significant other?: Nope.

Sexual Preference?: Straight.

Political affiliation--or the party that the least objectionable candidate normally sides with: Political questions... hmmmmm. erm... I dunno.

So...why are you here? I like reading peoples problems and offer advice if I can at all.

Best Compliment ever: You have a cute ass! haha... lol. I feel so stupid putting that...

Age/Emotional age: 19/ emotional age... this is difficult! Probally 19 still... considering theres half of me which can act about 15 and another which is older. hm. Will go with 19 though.

Please tell us whatever you want to help us get to know you better! I dont think theres anything right now that in general that could help me directly. I dont know myself that well I feel and sometimes I dont know why I do the things that I do so I guess I am still finding myself.

Post a picture of yourself! (We're big into pictures here):

(no subject)

hey girls,

I'm in a bit of a sticky situation and need a bit of advice as i know alot of you here are slightly older than me and hence wiser.

There's a guy who i'm going out with next week and he's 4 years older than me, he's 21, when i go for guys i tend to be a bit mad but i have a feeling he's slightly more down to earth with things like that and is the kind of person who wants to like a person first before becoming more 'serious'.

Do i try and be a bit more reserved and just go along with the swing of things?
another light missing

oh my....

My fiance just sent me this link: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

Sicko "Marriage Contract" One For The Ages
Repulsive "Wifely Expectations" pact emerges in Iowa kidnap case

FEBRUARY 17--This country, as you know, is filled with the deranged. And then there's Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa man who is facing charges that he tried to kidnap his own wife (not to mention a separate child pornography rap). Frey, prosecutors contend, apparently is a rather demanding guy. In fact, he actually drew up a bizarre four-page marriage document--a "Contract of Wifely Expectations"--that sought to establish guidelines for his spouse in terms of hygiene, clothing, and sexual activities. In return for fulfilling certain requirements, Frey (pictured right) offered "Good Behavior Days," or GBDs. Each GBD, Frey wrote, could be redeemed by his wife to "get out of doing the things" he requested daily. A copy of the proposed contract, which Frey's wife never signed and later provided to cops, can be found below. While we normally point out the highlights of most documents, there are so many in this demented, and very graphic, contract, we really can't do it justice. So set aside ten minutes--and prepare to be repulsed. (4 pages)

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This guy is wacko.
  • Current Music
    "One Short Day", Wicked
everlyn -- whoa

(no subject)

Am I the only girl who feels ashamed of herself when she fits a female stereotype?

For example, I love literature, history, and the humanities in general, and I hate math and science. I love skirts and jewelry. I loved to play with dolls when I was a little girl. Chocolate makes me giddy. I watch more chick flicks than is probably healthy.

I know trying to change who I am to not fit into a stereotype is just as bad as changing who I am to fit one, but it's hard! Sometimes I don't even know whether I really like chick flicks or if I'm still being socially indoctrinated into believing I should like chick flicks.

Argh! *headdesk*
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    blah blah
Don't stop now

Mod Update

Last night around midnight, the community hit 70 members!

I remember a couple of months ago when I originally brought the idea of her_answers to Beth (lovelark) and started the community, our ultimate goal was 40 members. Everday this little place grows, and it's amazing to me to see what people can get out of it. I always had a worry in the back of my mind that this place might not ever get off the ground. Your participation (as well as Beth's threats to post :P) has kept it alive; thank you!

Over the past few months, a few new members have posted on the Members Info Page, so those of you who haven't visited in a while, go check it out, see who you have stuff in common with! Make sure you're logged in, or else you won't be able to see it.

Also, for those of you who have this community on your friend's list, make sure you've actually joined it (by clicking here). If you haven't joined, you're missing out on all of the friends only posts, and there are a lot on this community.
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