Bethany (lovelark) wrote in her_answers,

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no reffering to the crappy John Mayer song.

so, my relationship with my dad is ridiculous.

a little backround: My father is a brilliant man. He's got several degrees in mathematical engineering. It's his passion- I have yet to understand how anyone can feel passionate about mathematical engineering...but there you have it. He loves thinking about how things work. He's STILL employed with Lucent Tech, a little example of his devoted, respectable self. 
And he is. He's patient, rational, cheerful....and completely non-confrontational. Seriously. He doesn't like fighting. Hates it. I had no idea until I was 16...but my dad avoids emotional confrontation as much as humanly possible. He divorced my mother (almost entirely her mom's a narcissist), remarried someone entirely unlikely, and he's finally happy. And I love him.
And he loves me. But he's so freaking scared of me. I take him to lunch, often as I can, and I visit. He's there for me, of course, whenever I need him (last night, to his utter suprised I showed up on his doorstep at 9:30, sobbing...I was having career change issues...), and while he was willing to help, comforting, and welcoming, he had no idea what to say.

I can't bear the thought of drifting away from him because I'm not a simple little girl anymore- I'm a complicated, married 20 year old chasing a career in the arts. 
What do I do to bring us closer? I have a feeling I'll keep needing my dad around.
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