behind these castle walls (greek_geek2) wrote in her_answers,
behind these castle walls

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Girl Trouble This Time

So I thought this was all sorted out. I was wrong. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is there a good way to approach this without sounding "guilt-trippy?"

At the beginning of the year, Caroline, Christine, and I had planned on getting a triple room and all rooming together. And then Caroline went sorority. (Please don't take the next bit as sorority or fraternity bashing for those that that statement would apply to.) She's absorbed in that now and wants to live on corridor in the sorority building. Which is natural and I wouldn't really expect her to do anything else. So I figured Caroline would room with one of her sorority buddies and Christine and I would room together again.

Just kidding.

Christine, who is as not into the sorority scene as I am, is going to be rooming with Caroline on corridor *in the sorority building* next year. She doesn't even think that she's going to like it. Now, maybe I should have stepped up the attempts to make more female friends, but for those that know me they know that in general I'll have a few - maybe - close girl friends and the rest will be boys. I click better with guys - always have, always will. But, especially when they *know* that Caroline could room with anyone she pretty much wants and Christine and I only have really the three of us to depend on, it just doesn't seem fair. I feel betrayed and hurt. Am I justified in this? I don't know. I don't want to talk to them because I'm scared that it's going to turn into a guilt trip, and I don't want to do that. I just... I don't know what to do.

x-posted to my journal
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even though you have abandoned livejournal for Lent, I'll answer on the off-chance that you're still reading comments.

You have every right to feel betrayed and hurt, and you have every right to tell your friend that you are dissapointed, and that you feel abandoned. I would. Were I Christine, I would want you to be honest with me about the way you feel.
Don't expect that it will change her mind though. Chances are, she knows what she's doing to you, and she's doing it anyway. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you've been left out of the little trio here. Sucks. Really, it does. I've been there.

Friendships are hardest when they come in groupings of three. There will almost always, without fail, be someone on the outside. I know how it feels, both to be on the inside duo, and to be the odd one out.
Micki, stand by what I said. You should make it known to both fo them that it hurts you. Do it maturely, and respectfully, while keeping the friendship in tact, but they need to understand what you're going through here.

Other than that- yes. I think you should make a special effort to be receptive to more female friends.
I always *clicked* with guys easier too. I used to tell myself it was just the way I am, until I learned the truth about myself. I fear rejection from women FAR more than I do from men. So, naturally, I'm drawn to men.
I realized that there's not much of a difference where women and men are concerned- not as far as platonic friendships go. .
Trust me. From here on in, friendships with women are going to be ALOT easier.
maturity helps.
I was in a sorority. Our house was really committed to having diverse women of all shapes, sizes, colors and mentalities though, which is why I enjoyed my time there. Not very many houses are like that, hence the stereotype. We were not the typical sorority women.I would not have been happy in a different house, I think.

But ANYWAY, lol, that doesn't address your post at all. Don't feel bad that you haven't made a passel of female friends. Getting along with the guys is good, but also noteworthy is that some (such as myself) prefer having a few select close female friends than a whole bunch of surface-level female friends. This can leave you in a sticky situation when drama occurs in the close friendship group because then you are sort of left alone...I've been there.

So then, is Christine actually IN the sorority or not...are you at a school that the sororities don't have their own houses? The way it works in at my school is that you have to belong to the sorority to live in it.

But anyway. Lovelark is right, you do deserve to feel hurt and left out. Talking to Christine might be helpful...
what college do you go to? there are usually all kinds of roommate needed, wanted posters up in mine.. be sporatic, and you'll meet new people... why not?